Vegan cats!

Two nights ago Lindsay and Ashley came over to vegan bake.  In typical form, Sheila showed off quite a bit.  But then she calmed down enough to make herself at home on top of the table...

Lindsay in action with the Kitchenaid.  I think I've convinced her that she needs one. Ahem, Travis.  You can keep the floor bed, but upgrade on this.

Last night I came home after being kind of crazy busy so I relaxed in the chair with Paul right on top of me, as usual.  On his back, stomach on full display.  Sheila prefers a loftier position, as demonstrated below.  This is to also show that while bringing over the cat stand was a good idea in theory, they have never used it since, for any purpose.  But at least she's making use of my TV...

And finally, a text conversation with Lyndi.  About the pusses.  Puss plural, if you will. I also sing the phrase, "What's new pussy cat?  Whoa oh oh?" literally every time I walk in the door.

They also haven't thrown up for a few days so that's nice.  And now I've probably jinxed myself upon my return home this evening.

We didn't have a good morning.

I found kitteh puke on my rug.  I spoke too soon yesterday.  I don't understand the puking.  It is also an extreme mental effort to not throw up while cleaning it up.  I literally tell myself, "Mind over matter. Stop gagging and grow up."

THEN I locked myself out of my  house dumping the cat litter because it was trash day.  That was fun.  I'm considering the following two options to deal with some of this.

J/k, Jake.  Mostly.

A lolcat puzzle

If you combine these two:

With this one:

\

It equals:

In case you need some help with this puzzle:
I came home from working out at 6:15 this morning to find kitteh puke on my floor.
Con:  Kitteh puke on my floor.
Pro:  It was on the wood floor rather than my rug.
Con:  I almost puked right on top of it while I cleaned it up.
Pro:  Instead of mopping my floor tonight like I was planning, I got it done at 6:20 a.m.

the pros and cons of living with cats

Pro:
There's someone to greet you when you get home.
Con:  You feel guilty when you're at work for more than 12 hours.
Pro:  They give you an excuse to lay in bed for 2 hours because they just want to hang out.
Con:  There is hair on my bed.
Pro:  They're pretty low-maintenance as far as care--minus scooping litter.
Con:  You feel like a crazy cat lady buying cat food on a Saturday night.
Pro:  If you spend enough time with them, they start to like you.
Con:  If you're away too much, they notice and then whine incessantly.
Pro:  Cats are mysterious and interesting.
Con:  Cats are mysterious and slightly scary. Point made in picture form below:

Pro:  They're fun to talk to.
Con:  You realize you're crazy that you talk out loud that much alone and have thus become the self-fulfilling prophecy of "crazy cat lady."
Pro:  They start to like you enough that they follow you around, even Sheila.
Con:  They start to like you enough that they follow you around and get hair everywhere.
Pro:  The cat hair makes you want to clean more.
Con:  You realize your vacuum cleaner doesn't have attachments to clean your furniture.
Pro:  They can be funny, like when their giant cat bodies take up an entire bar stool.
Con:  While they're funny, they like to scratch your furniture:

Pro:  I'm learning cats aren't so bad, and it's only been a week!
Con:  Jake had to go to freaking India for 2 1/2 weeks in order to realize this.

How much is that kitteh in the window?

Oh yes, still capturing moments of the kittehs.  

"Cat dad?  Is that you?  Cat dad, where are you?"-Paul

"Screw cat dad!  I just want to go outside, Paul!" -Sheila

"Don't be such a bitch, Sheila.  He really misses us right now."-Paul

"Oh, look!  A shoe!  I think I'll go sit on it. I'm sorry, were you saying something, Paul?"-Sheila

"Paul, what do you say we claw out this screen and jump to our freedom?"

"Sheila, you know I have bad hips..."

The secret life of cats

Last night Paul and Sheila were in my room never.  Which means they were likely roaming and doing who knows what.  Like below.

Also, I found Sheila in one of my baskets like this in the closet but couldn't catch her with my camera.  She likes to be naughty right when I get home such as jumping on all spaces she's not supposed to, scratching at everything and playing with lamp cords.  Oh yes, and jumping on Paul.  Then they kitty cat made out for a bit.

And finally, this is me in a lolcat.  The resemblance is striking, don't you think?

Visitors!

Last night Paul and Sheila had some visitors and decided to show off for them by clawing at the dining room chairs, the living room chairs, and jumping up on the bar stools when someone stood up.  Okay, you're right.  That wasn't both of them.  Just Sheila.  Here she is being badass:  

She was just so drunk she couldn't help herself.  We found her like this after we heard a delightful song that she made up on the spot.  A Beethoven Kitteh if you will.

And then I put myself on my own team for taking pictures of the cats doing cute cat things, such as this:

Jake, you can go ahead and sign me up for Best Girlfriend of the Year award.

Uh oh update

First of all, I just found cat puke in the basement.  It still had pieces of cat food, so I know that's what it is.  That's pretty fun.

Second of all, I already dry heaved a bit scooping out the litter box. But I want it to smell even less so I do it every day.(Also, I have it in my head that they'll feel better with clean litter. I realize how dumb that sounds as I type it.)

Third of all, if you can't say it with a lolcat, then is it really worth saying?

That's Sheila in 5 years.  Because we all know that kitteh didn't throw up her food.  Nervous Paul...

Catdadical?

Cat dad? Radical cat dad?  Or cat dad on a sabbatical?  Or all of the above! Yes, it's the latter, and per the suggestion of the lovely Travis, I decided to blog about taking care of Paul and Sheila while Jake is away in India.

First things first, this is irony at its finest.  As of two years ago, I would have vehemently opposed having the feline species in my place of residence, but here we are in the present, and I'm catching myself having conversations with 2 four-legged creatures on a daily basis.

That's Paul having a minor tizz adjusting.  He stayed in the basement for a good while and would peek his head around the stairs just to see and then dart back downstairs.  He progressed to only upstairs on day 2 and is now roaming about pretty freely on day 3, with only occasional bouts of excessive whining.

Sheila, whom I have in general thought of as affectionately "bitchy,"  took to my house right away.  She even felt enough at home to follow me around everywhere, sleep by my head, and bite off the strap to my one of my purses.  It's fine, it matches the sandal she chewed the strap off of last summer.  (I didn't forget, Sheila.)

That's Sheila getting caught playing with the lamp cords underneath the couch.  She doesn't really listen to me but I pretend like diverting her attention is helpful.  And I'm writing this blog sitting on the chair instead of in the kitchen because Paul whined enough to make me move.  That's the thing with the cats and myself. They can pretty much get me to do whatever they want because I anthropomorphize them and think, "Oh, I know you're sad your cat dad is gone, ok, I'll pet you for an hour instead of doing anything else productive."  

So that's how it's going so far.  Pretty well I think, overall.  And cat dad is not my term.  It's Jake's.  We just needed to clear that up.